Friday, April 16, 2010
I made a mistake..
0 
I made a mistake of choosing life.
I made a mistake of even existing.
I made a mistake of believing you,
Trusting you,
Having faith in you.
When I believed,
You mocked,
When I trusted you,
You derided my feelings,
When I had faith in you,
You asked me to leave for forever.
And if I have any sanity left I want to say,
I promised myself to stay but now I break that promise.
I defy it.
I oppose it.
What a stupid mistake.
It is not a mistake that I can correct,
Neither can I memorize it to heart and never make that mistake ever again.
It is a mistake that I will have to live with.
So here are some last words for you,
Before the clock strikes 12.
ALONE
Each lover has a theory of his own
About the difference between the ache
Of being with his love, and being alone:
Why what, when dreaming, is dear flesh and bone
That really stirs the senses, when awake,
Appears a simulacrum of his own.
Narcissus disbelieves in the unknown;
He cannot join his image in the lake
So long as he assumes he is alone.
The child, the waterfall, the fire, the stone.
Are always up to mischief, though, and take
The universe for granted as their own.
The elderly, like Proust, are always prone
To think of love as a subjective fake;
The more they love, the more they feel alone.
Whatever view we hold, it must be shown
Why every lover has a wish to make
Some other kind of otherness his own;
Perhaps, in fact, we never are alone.
-Auden
I was your eraser in this lifetime.
Next life?
I'll see you then.
X