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TODAY WE MADE RAINBOW CUPCAKES.

OKAY.

BYE.

Dreamtime anyone?

True true true.

Wow I used to be a big fan of this.

Wow truth be told anyone?

Wow splashhhhh.

Yup, I hope you forever remember the times we had,

And the times we shared.

Bridal affairs?

Look away.

You know I'm not going to go to Church for a while. I need sometime to think about somethings and to resolve my problems. I can't go on living a life like this. And neither of you can help me. I'm sorry but I really would not like to share my problems, I rather look away, I rather choose not to share. So I beg you to accept that fact. Maybe this time I'm defying the orders of God you may say but right now I even question myself with a few questions. And what are they? I would not say. Be it that you hate me, dislike me, loathe me, abhor me, hope to never see me again it all does not matter anymore.

So farewell,

Adieus.

-X

I know when i stand next to him i'm like nothing.

i shouldn't even use the capital i for 'I'

I'm not even worthy of it.

He's too great.

So from now on,

I'm just going to stand by the side and watch and disassociate myself from him.

I like someone.

These are all the things I want to ask you. These are all the questions I want you to answer me. These are all the things that were left unsaid between us. These are the things that I want to say to you if I were to ever see you again. These are what I would say spitting to your face. Be it that I hate you, love you, like you. Or if I will break down infront of you, throw a fit, run away from you. These are all the things left unsaid between us. And I really hope there comes a day when all these questions will be answered. And yes, I'm sure you know who I mean.

I beg to differ,

I want to be your friend again but I know there's no turning back and I know.

I made a mistake of choosing life.

I made a mistake of even existing.

I made a mistake of believing you,

Trusting you,

Having faith in you.

When I believed,

You mocked,

When I trusted you,

You derided my feelings,

When I had faith in you,

You asked me to leave for forever.

And if I have any sanity left I want to say,

I promised myself to stay but now I break that promise.

I defy it.

I oppose it.

What a stupid mistake.

It is not a mistake that I can correct,

Neither can I memorize it to heart and never make that mistake ever again.

It is a mistake that I will have to live with.

So here are some last words for you,

Before the clock strikes 12.

Each lover has a theory of his own

About the difference between the ache

Of being with his love, and being alone:

Why what, when dreaming, is dear flesh and bone

That really stirs the senses, when awake,

Appears a simulacrum of his own.

Narcissus disbelieves in the unknown;

He cannot join his image in the lake

So long as he assumes he is alone.

The child, the waterfall, the fire, the stone.

Are always up to mischief, though, and take

The universe for granted as their own.

The elderly, like Proust, are always prone

To think of love as a subjective fake;

The more they love, the more they feel alone.

Whatever view we hold, it must be shown

Why every lover has a wish to make

Some other kind of otherness his own;

Perhaps, in fact, we never are alone.

-Auden

I was your eraser in this lifetime.

Next life?

I'll see you then.

X

Today is such a great day.

I will remember today is the day fate brought us together.

And,

I'm not dating someone.

Ugh.

Bye,

Don't get the wrong idea.

I miss the old me. I really do, I miss my confidence, I miss my laughter, I miss the way how little things inspire me, I miss how the wind blew my hair back, I miss the way I used to smile, I miss the way people used to think of me, I miss the way I never lied, I miss my innocence. Really, I miss everything of the past. When I was thirteen and the bus driver missed the bus stop that I was supposed to get off at even though I pressed the button I cried. I really did, cause I was scared, I didn't know where I was. I know what you're thinking "thats pathetic." But you've got to understand I didn't catch the bus to school back then, my parents were kind of overprotective they would send me to school everyday, accompany me. So yeah..thats my life. I miss Sydney, I miss Australia, I miss Yeonjae, Patricia, Madeleine, Anieszka, Eve, Penny and more. I really do miss them, I miss how they never lied or backstabbed. I like the way we just talked like normal people but here? I can't even differentiate friends from foe's. We all lie. We all laugh together. We all are so fake. Its killing me, killing as in hurting me and making me laugh ironically. Perhaps I'm like Holden from Catcher in the Rye.

I just want to go back to Australia. I miss the air, the places, the things way go, the hopes the dreams the inspiration there. The inspiration here just kills the me.

Its so ugly, its so awful looking but something attracts me, it makes me want to be there, exploring this place knowing what is happening what is behind those windows, what is behind those doors.

Just live on?

Nights.

So this is what I got for myself.
Stuff that I think makes me feel warm.

Ugh... you're going to say I'm acting cute but the clothes are comfy. Its like home clothes.

I think going out and staying at home clothes should both be comfortable. Therefore, wherever you go you can take a nap, sit in whatever position you want, feel like you belong and whatever crap.

And everybody else? Well screw them, as long as I feel great and even if I'm totally hideous and ugly, I really am fine with it.

Xoxo,

-X.

Inside it here there lies a fortune.

A future.

Tell me mine then, please.

Salem trail in the black forest.

Its so true...it hurts..

Sparkle sparkle.

Somewhere there lies a place like this.

Somewhere far far away there lays a place I can call home.

And the garden of Adam and Eve does truly exist.

Oh flowers do bloom.

Where is this home that I seek?

It just died in the palm of my hands.

"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

-Benjamin Franklin

To tell you the truth I don't know where I am going anymore. I don't know where this road is taking me. I don't know how long this journey will be and whom I may meet on the way but I would just like to thank you. Thank you for being there. Thank you for existing. Thank you for making me laugh, smile and more. Though we may not be as close as we once were. Though it seems awkward at times when we talk and there are silences, I still remember how we were in the past. Our laughter, our joy making memories that arouse nostalgic memories for times such as now. I always remind my self to not contemplate in the past but I just can't help it. So now, let me, let this pain go away. For now, this shall be my great disappearance. I'll always remember you, I'll always have loved you but for now its time to let the past lay in the past.

Xoxo,

X.

p.s. this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.

"It is the east, and Juliet is the sun"

Romeo and Juliet 2.2

(For your information the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.)

I asked a question, anticipated for the answer. I thought it would be something more horrible, more horrifying but instead it was alright. It made me embrace myself for whom I am. It made me thank the spirits that placed me in your life. I thanked he who let me into your life. I thank that little moment in which I added you without hesitation cause I know if I didn't I would of regretted. Cause thats just how awesome you are, what great awe you leave me in. You're an inspiring soul. So I thank the heavenly father above, cause if it weren't for Him, if it weren't for those little mistakes and accidents that lead me to know you I would of missed a lot. Missed out a lot from life.

And FOE/ FRIEND, its so great manipulating people right? But then.. oh no now you've lost all your friends. Popular much? Loner to the core. Ouch, life must suck for you. Oh wells, at least I'm not you.

-xoxo.

Reap your harvest.

Faites-moi sourire, me faire rire. Thats que vous vous faites. Vous accomplissez les choses qui me stupéfient, amusent, me fait vous adorer même plus. Et comme le laisser-passer de jours et comme je viens pour vous connaître même plus je me rends compte que j'ai besoin de vous la présence pour me maintenir en vie. Garder mes sourires et rire vrais.

Aimez-moi, détestez-moi, vous êtes toujours mes et seulement.

-X

For you and I are past our dancing days.

Romeo and Juliet, 1. 5

O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?

Romeo and Juliet, 2. 2

Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow,That I shall say good night till it be morrow.
Romeo and Juliet, 2. 2

A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;

Romeo And Juliet, Prologue

These sorrows make me old.

Romeo and Juliet, 3. 2

These violent delights have violent ends.

Romeo and Juliet, 2. 6

Je suppose que la collection est le meilleur résumé de comment je me sens en ce moment.Vulnérable ? Son comme du début j'ai senti une lumière d'étincelle dans moi. Il m'a fait me sentir clair et spacieux, Il m'a fait me sentir clair comme quelqu'un le redébut appuyé sur moi, sur ma vie. C'était stupéfiant, c'était beau,C'était un tel sentiment d'excitation. Mais, Nous pouvons tous remarquer "l'était" juste ? Si vraiment. Je devrais apprendre à pas contempler sur le passé. Je me souviendrai pour toujours.

Wee!

You make me feel special.

And I shall remember.

12:42, 12:43.

Guitar baby.

-X

P.s.

I'm sure you came here and was disappointed there was no post dedicated to you. Don't worry, this is to make it up to you.

That place it truly is amazing.

I want to go there.

Ended for today.

X,

Nights world.

I LUH-V JANE.