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Sadly, it is only now that I realized I never liked you, mathematician.

I guess I never did.

I guess, no, I finally realized that I tried to portray you as Calvin.

I tried to use you as an substitute to replace him, because just like how you are, you both were intellectuals.

Both, whom excelled at academics.

But sadly, it is only now that I can finally differentiate you both.

You play basketball, he plays soccer, you play the drums, he hates instrument.

Sure, you both are indeed smart, indeed philosophers of your own kind, but you are both different.

I guess I can say that I never really truly moved on. I just stayed stagnant.

I just kept the memories so tight, that in the end I learn that I'm only hurting myself.

So, I hereby sincerely apologize,

I don't know what am I to become in the future,

And I can't promise anything,

But what I can do is just apologize.

I apologize for using you indirectly to help me forget him.
Well, an attempt to.

Hence,

I apologize.

Thats all I really needed to say for these few weeks.

-X